Got any jokes?

[skinny720]

A man walks into a bar, walks up to the bartender, has a few drinks, jokes with the bartender a bit, y'know man stuff at a bar. Eventually the man says "Hey, I can lick my left eye". The bartender says "Yeah right, bet you 200 you can't". The man takes out his glass eye, and licks it. The bartender pays the man, and the man leaves.

The next day, the same man walks into the same bar again. This time, he said "Y'know what? I can bite my right eye". The bartender thought for a second; the man couldn't possibly have two glass eyes, or it was at least extremely unlikely, so he said "Sure, 500". The man takes out his dentures and bites his right eye with them. He promptly leaves, and the bartender is stunned and angry.

The next day, the man comes back, but he doesn't go up to the bar. Instead, he walks around talking to the patrons, eliciting laughter from them. When it seems he had talked to everyone, he walked up to the bartender. The bartender says nothing, but simply asks him what he would like to drink. The man places a shot-glass on the counter, and says "I bet you $2000 I can stand on the bar over here-" He points to a place about 5 feet from the glass "-and pee into that glass without spilling a drop." The bartender had him now, this feat would be impossible. "You're on" the bartender grins. The man proceeded to climb up onto the bar, and urinate everywhere but the glass: even on the bartender himself, but the bartender beams. The man forks over $2000, then walks around the bar again, shaking hands and laughing with the other patrons. After he gets back, the bartender asks "Why are you so happy, you just lost $2000?". The man smiles and replies "I bet every person here $1000 that I could piss all over you, your bar, and the floor, and you wouldn't get mad."